


My Last Young Renegade Heartache

by IWillBeTheEndofYou



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Falling slowly, I know nothing about it, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Musicians, Saddling, Second Chances, Skipping School, Slow Burn, Smoking, Sunburns, The Middle of Nowhere, Underage Drinking, Yuri Plisetsky Needs a Hug, Yuri Plisetsky Swears, Yuri in Dresses, Yuri is a Punk, a summer away, also I like horses, horse farm, horse ranch, i had a dream about Dr. Phil that partially inspired this, learning, learning to ride a horse, mucking stalls, poor grades, straighten up and fly right, trouble youths, wearing someone else's sweater
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-20 14:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWillBeTheEndofYou/pseuds/IWillBeTheEndofYou
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky cannot behave. Grandpa is too old and too sick to take care of him. He's run out of grace with his cousin Victor and fiance Yuuri. A family friend offers one more chance on their horse ranch. Yuri thinks this is a terrible idea. Then again, there is the handsome son of the rancher...
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 23
Kudos: 33





	1. You Were My Last

"This is fucking stupid." Yuri kicked the seat in front of him. Victor caught his eye and frowned.

"You're out of options, kiddo." he sighed.

"Why can't I stay with you and the piggy?"

"One, because you insist on referring to my fiance as a piggy." Victor shook his head. "And two, because you won't behave. We asked you to go to school and try and not be a total asshole. You couldn't do that." there was a pause. "Was it something we did?"

"No," he crossed his arms and sank down in the seat.

"We told you when you came that we were your last chance, didn't we? Yuuri is heartbroken. He really wanted it to work out." Victor new he was lecturing, knew he was scolding. And mostly, he knew that it wasn't likely to work. He had to try though. This was the last time he'd be seeing Yuri for awhile. Part of him really wanted to be sweet and loving, and part of him knew this was the time to be stern.

"I wanted to stay with Dedushka!"

"I know that! And we all wanted you to stay." he paused as he navigated a difficult exit ramp. "But you and I both know he's just too sick to give you the kind of care you obviously need. And you were doing plenty of sneaking around and rule breaking there." he would have shaken his finger if he could have. Yuri just huffed.  
"Yurotchka," the use of his familial nickname made Yuri's heart hurt. "I am sorry. We tried to make it work. But Yuuri and I agree that we won't put you in a place you can't succeed. Dedushka agrees."

The past semester had been difficult for all of them. Yuri just scrapped by his sophomore year. He had spent most of the time out of the school building, downtown with his friends in those places where kids go when they have nowhere else to be. Alleyways and coffee shops. Sharing cigarettes they smoked until their lips burned. Forbidden mouthfuls of beer. Crowds of them sitting, idly pushing a skateboard around. It was strange that when Victor demanded to know what they had been doing all day, he could only say 'nothing'.

They had done nothing, it just took all day to get it done. And it felt like that was the most important thing that he could be doing.

He argued that he was seeing more of the world than he would in the classroom or the library. He was seeing real life happening before his eyes. Victor had sad he was wrong, and that he would never get anywhere in life if he spent all his time like this. But, Yuri said, the time was his, and this life was his, and he should be allowed to live it the way that he saw fit.

These discussions often ended up with them screaming at each other, and sometimes Yuri would throw things at Victor. His fiance would hide in the kitchen, peeking out at them and wringing his hands. He was so pathetic, Yuri thought. And he had the same name as him, how stupid did you get? He had made a smart remark to his older cousin then, something about choosing someone with the same name as his baby cousin.

Guilt pricked at Yuri, though, even as he thought that. Yuuri had tried, Yuuri had been kind. Yuuri had pled for leniency from him, and when this idea was mentioned, the Japanese man had full on cried. Sobbed, with his face in his hands. He begged Victor to reconsider, give them one more chance. Told him that whatever he did or didn't do, Yuri didn't deserve to be shipped off.

Yuri had wanted to puke up his own heart at that. The man had tried, he had to admit. Had made his favorite foods, and done his laundry, and always reminded him to grab a jacket. And Yuri had scoffed and flipped him off and told him to shut up. But no matter what the blond had thrown his way, the darker haired man had taken it in stride.

Victor had remained stubborn though. The kid hadn't upheld his part of the deal, and so the adults responsible were in agreement. He would not stay.

"I need you to understand something." Victor said softly.

"What, Vitya?" his voice sounded peevish, but the return of a familial nickname let him know how the kid was really feeling.

"If you mess up here, there's no other chances. This is it. If this doesn't work out," he stopped and took in a deep breath. "If this doesn't work out, you're going to have to go to foster care. I can't let you back in my house, not with the way you're acting. Not with those criminal charges. The judge said this was it, too. You mess up, and the charges go through."

"And then what?" he spat.

"And then it's out of my hands. It's out of anyone's hands."

"I can't believe everyone is making such a big deal out of it. A lot of kids are truant, so what? I made one mistake for that other thing!"

"Yuri, you were walking around blasted drunk in the middle of the day! In public! You puked on the officer's shoes!" Victor sounded almost hysterical. "And that's after you lit a trash can on fire."

"In my defense, I didn't mean to set the trash on fire."

"Yeah, you were smoking, which is also illegal." Victor rubbed his forehead. "This wasn't a series of unfortunate events no one could have forseen happening. You made bad choices."

"Why can't I stay with Dedushka again?" he he knew he was whining. He didn't want to discuss the fact that he made some mistakes, or bad choices. He wanted to know why he couldn't go back to his grandfather.

"Because he is old and sick and tired and you refuse to toe the line." Victor turned down a long dirt road.

"Last Chance Ranch," Yuri read from the wrought iron archway they drove under. "You don't think that's a little on the nose?"

"No," Victor spat. "I went to school with one of the older Altin girls. She said that her parents have been known to take in horses and kids that needed help. And I can't think of many kids that need more help than you."

"I can. You never met my friends." he tilted his chin up.

"That doesn't make me feel any better about the things that you've done." he parked and they sat in the car for a few minutes. It was a big house, Yuri thought, two stories, white washed. A wrap around porch, with the quintessential rocking chairs. Green roof. There was a barn not too far from the house, and he could hear the knickering and whinny of horses.

The door opened then, and a woman stepped out with her hair in a bun, dark hair streaked with gray. She was wearing a plaid button down shirt, wiping her hands on a dishtowel tucked into the waistband of her jeans. She caught Victor's eye and smiled and waved. Yuri snorted.

"This is all a little Norman Rockwell, isn't it? A little CW family dramedy?"

"You're going to shut up and be polite, or our next stop is going to be juvie." Victor pointed at him. He smiled his famous heartshaped smile and waved. "Kara! How nice to see you!"

"Victor! Glad you found the place okay." she headed for the car. Yuri sighed and opened the door. He slipped out of the car and stood, his arms dangling at his sides, not looking her in the eye.  
"Are you our new summer hand?"

"I guess. Yes." he said through clenched teeth. He really wanted to say no, he was not a hand, he was a captive. There had to be something against this in the Geneva convection. But that wasn't going to endear him to anyone. Besides, that sort of thing probably didn't apply to minors in cases like his. It wasn't even good beer, he thought. It wasn't even good beer that made me puke on that cop's shoes.

The woman reached out and caught his chin, tilting his face up. Bitter green eyes met warm amber ones. She looked him up and down. If she was surprised by his punk band t-shirt, his artfully ripped jeans, or the baggy black sweater pulled over his hands, she didn't say anything. If she didn't like the way that his hair was long, and pulled on top of his own head in a messy bun, she didn't say anything.

"Well, welcome to the ranch." she moved her hand away from him. "He's too skinny, Victor, don't you feed him? You'll stay for dinner?"

"Oh, Kara, you know I wish I could. There's nothing like your cooking." he pressed his hand to his chest. "But I have to get back to Yuuri."

"Ah yes. When is the wedding?"

"Next year," he opened the trunk and pulled out Yuri's few bags. Included was his treasured guitar case, which the kid immediately took. He didn't want to hear the questions, didn't want the demands that he play for them.

"Too bad. Maybe next time." she put her hand on his shoulder for a moment. "I'll give you a minute to say goodbye." she grabbed one bag and headed into the house with it.

Yuri's heart gave a painful throb. He held the case in front of him, staring at the ground. His could put his hands on his shoulders and nudged the case aside. He pulled the boy into his chest.

"You don't have to do this. I'll be good." his voice was muffled in Victor's coat. "Please take me home with you."

"I can't, even if I wanted to. This was part of your probationary terms." Victor's voice was tight.

"But, Vitya," he exhaled. "I want to go home with you."

"I know, love. And at the end of the summer, we'll see where we are. You know you can call me and Yuuri any time. And Grandpa, too." he nuzzled the lovely blond hair for a moment, thinking how he'd miss this scent of cheap cigarettes and floral perfume that Yuri favored.  
"I love you so much."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't abandon me out here." even as his said it, his hand was wrapped up in his coat.

"It's because I love you. How can I make you understand?" he kissed his temple. "Be good, Yuri, please try?"

Yuri was silent as his cousin untangled him and closed the trunk of the car. He climbed in and look at the boy for a moment, seeing the tears as they were rolling down his face.

"Don't cry, love, you know I can't stand that."

"Then don't leave me! Or do, whichever. I guess." he swiped angrily at his eyes with his sleeve. Victor just sighed again and pulled away. He beeped as he headed down the dirt driveway, Yuri resisted the urge to hurl a rock at him.

"Well now," Kara seemed to appear from nowhere. "Why don't we take the rest of your bags to your room?"

"I can manage." he grabbed the rolling suitcase, put on the backpack and grabbed his guitar case again.

Kara nodded and walked him up the steps and into the house. It smelled of cinnamon and firewood. She pointed to a flight of woodenstairs with the highly polished rail. If he was younger, Yuri would have been compelled to ride the thing to the bottom of the steps. He hauled his gear upstairs, while Kara stood and watched.

"You're stubborn, I'll give you that."

"I don't know if you're trying to tell me that's a good thing or a bad thing." he blinked a few times. She just smiled and gestured to a room at the top of the stairs. It was plain, with a full sized bed and dresser, empty closet. In one corner was tucked a small rocking chair.

"I'll leave you here to unpack. Dinner is in an hour, so wash up for that."

"Uh, sure."

"All right then." she nodded and headed back down the stairs. Yuri carefully unpacked, tucking his clothes into the drawer, hanging some of the shirts up. He sat on the bed, feeling the creak of it underneath him. The lump rose in his throat as he stared at his hands. There was one lone blue rug on the floor, and he thought for a moment he didn't have any slippers. His feet would be cold in the morning.

He unzipped his backpack, ready to read for a little bit. There, right on top, was a new pair of leopard print slippers in just his size.

'In case. I love you, Yuuri,' the sticky note stuck on top said.

Yuri closed his eyes, grateful no one was around to see the burning tears.


	2. How Am I Gonna Be An Optimist About This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri's first morning at the farm.

Dinner was what he expected, really. A table full of what a magazine would call 'good home cooking'. Heavy on the starch, the butter, and the beef. Yuri pushed it around his plate. He ate some of the vegetables, fresh picked from the garden. That was at least a relief, even if they were steamed and now raw. The homemade rolls were nice enough, too.

“Off your feed?” the tall man said from the head of the table. Yuri almost jumped out of his skin.

“I'm—sorry?”

“He just wants to know if you don't like supper, after Mom worked so hard on it slaving over a hot stove for hours, trying to provide sustenance for our bodies, so that we may carry on with our livelihood.” a girl about twelve seemed to recite from memory. Kara glared at her from the opposite side of the table.

“All right, Mouth, he didn't ask for a whole monologue making fun of me.”

“Well, we've all heard it enough.” an older girl smirked. Yuri noticed that they all had the same long dark hair that their mother did, but they had the wide set eyes of the older man. He had lighter hair, and his skin was deeply tanned. Yuri wondered if that was because he worked outside or because he was natural.

The man had the heavy frame that he associated with farming and outside work. Before Yuri could respond, the back door opened and another person was washing at the sink. He was nearly a carbon copy of the man, only he had the dark hair of Kara. He had cut it in an undercut though, rather than leaving it long like the girls.

“Otabek,” Kara smiled. “You're home late.”

“Sorry, Mama.” he murmured. He froze when he saw Yuri. “Um, did I miss something?”

“Oh, I'm sure I mentioned it!” she laughed. “This is Yuri Plisetsky. Jennie's friend's little cousin. Remember?”

“The new stray.”

“I am not a stray!” he spat. 

“Whatever,” Otabek pulled out a chair and began dishing out his plate. Yuri looked around. The two girls at the table seemed to ignore this exchange. 

“I know you'll be very kind to our guest.” the man at the end of the table had finished, pushed his chair back, arms crossed over his chest. “And in a gesture of extra special kindness, Otabek, I know that you'll get him up in the morning. Bright. And. Early.”

“Yes, Dad.” the boy mumbled, looking at his roll.

“Good, now that's settled. Mama, I thought I heard you say you'd made a strawberry pie?”

“You did, you did Abe. Let's let Otabek catch up. Katie, Suzy, please start clearing the table.” she rose and began to clear the table, gathering the serving dishes as she did. The two girls went to as well. Yuri murmured his thanks as they took his mostly full plate. 

Abe's eyes were on him, taking him in. It reminded Yuri of having his mug shots taken, and he wasn't at all sure that he liked the sensation. But he kept his eyes down and didn't say anything. The girl came in a few moments later, bringing plates of fresh strawberry pie, topped with homemade whipped cream, not Cool Whip.

“Oh wow!” he said in spite of himself.

“Why thank you, Yuri, I'll take that as a compliment.” Kara smiled as they began to eat.

“When you're doing eating.” Abe pointed a fork at him. “You might want to think about turning in.”

“It's seven thirty.” he blinked a few times. He never went to bed this early, and almost never before midnight. Which might, he thought, have something to do with his tardiness problem at school, now that he considered it.

“The sun rises early, and we rise even earlier.” he rose and stretched his arms above the head. “I'm gonna check the horses one more time and turn in myself.” he walked down the table, kissing both the girls on the tops of their heads, ruffling Otabek's hair, kissing Kara on the lips.

Yuri just blinked a few times, slowly finishing his pie. It was good pie, he thought. He bet there was real lard in the crust or something. The secret was never really love. As he was chasing the last few crumbs, he felt eyes on him and looked up to realize the boy was looking at him.

“Don't make me late in the morning.”

“Please, worry about you.” Yuri sneered. He had the feeling they were getting off on the wrong foot, but he couldn't back down to something like that. He couldn't let them think that he would be intimidated by this kind of nonsense.

“All right, boys, all right.” Kara said pacifyingly, with that air of a mother who knew how to calm down squabbles.  
“Say good night.”

“Good night, Mama.” Otabek rose from the table and kissed her cheek. He patted each sister on the head and was gone. Yuri took his plate to the sink.

“Good night.” he said, trying to keep the bitterness from his tone. They murmured good nights, as he went to his room. He stripped down and put on the sweater he normally slept in. The house was quiet, he thought, quiet and dark. This was not the way it had been in the city.

He squirmed on his bed, trying to pull the blanket up the right way. The stillness was almost deafening. He chewed his lip and grabbed his headphone, playing something so he could at least try and fall asleep.

***

“Hey, idiot,” someone was shaking him awake. Yuri startled, nearly leaping out of bed. He opened his mouth to scream when a large, heavy hand was clamped down to his mouth. He flailed, trying to claw it away from his mouth.  
“Calm down, it's me.”

“Well how would I know that?” Yuri hissed.

“Because we're in the middle of nowhere, and no one else would ever want to break in to get you. You're not that special.” Otabek snorted.

“It's the middle of the night, what are you doing in here?” he spat, peeling back the blankets. His long pale legs shivered as he stepped on the cold floor. Yuuri had been right to pack him some slippers, he realized.

“It's not the middle of the night, it's just the asscrack of dawn.” he sighed. “Dad did tell you.”

“What could possibly need to happen right now that couldn't wait?”

“You'll see.” he stepped back. “Get dressed in clothes you don't care about.” he warned as he walked out. 

Clothes he didn't care about? Yuri put on his oldest pair of jeans and an old t shirt for a band that he was pretty sure had sold out. He slipped into his sneakers and headed down to the kitchen. Otabek was leaning against the sink, drinking from a mug.

“You took too long, no time for coffee until later.”

“Oh come on,” Yuri moaned. “I'm useless until I've had some.”

“I feel like you're probably useless even with it.”

“Why are you being so mean to me?”

“Because you're wasting my time.” Otabek spat. “Now come on.”

The headed out towards the barn, with Yuri stumbling as Otabek walked nicely. The barn was huge, and at least it was lit. He was glad they didn't have to grope around in the dark. There were two lines of stalls. The horses whinnied and stamped their feet. Yuri hesitated at the doorway.

“Scared?” Otabek asked.

“Why would I be scared of a horse?” he huffed. “They don't have thumbs.”

“Because if one of them kicked you in the head, you probably would die.”

“Well then I won't let their feet near my head.”

“Hard to do.” the dark haired boy looked amused. “If one of them really wants to kick you, they will.”

“So why were you making fun of me for being scared! What do you want from me?” Yuri groaned. Otabek pulled forth a wheelbarrow and a few tools.

“Muck the stalls.”

“I don't know what that means.”

“Okay,” Otabek said slowly. “Horses shit in their stalls overnight. We don't want that to sit around. Makes 'em sick and makes 'em stink. So you need to remove the shit.”

“Fine,” he lifted his chin. “How much could a horse shit.”

As it turned out, a horse could shit a lot. Otabek opened a stall and walked a horse out, holding onto the rein. He walked the horse to the middle of the barn, took out what looked like Yuri to a scrub brush, and began to brush the horse.

The stall was a mess. It was gross. He carefully tried to use the pitchfork looking thing to lift the chunks. They fell apart. Yuri cursed and tried harder. He managed to get a whole two clumps in before they fell apart.

The smell was not what he was expecting. It wasn't as bad as some of the other shit he'd smelled, he thought. Not as bad as the cows from the farm he went to on a field trip. But it wasn't really nice. It was still shit. He gagged as some smeared across his sweater.

“That was vile,” he said flatly when he was finally done. Otabek smirked.

“Only nine more to go!”

“What?” he froze. “But the wheelbarrow is full.”

“Yeah, that'll happen. You need to take it out to the compost heap.”

“Wait, the vegetables that you grow you use horse shit on?”

“Yes!” he looked at him. “Look that way.” Otabek pointed away from himself.

“Why?”

“Because your about five seconds from puking, and I really don't want any on me.”

“I am not gonna puke.” he protested.

“The vegetables you ate last night were fertilized with the compost that yes, we use the horse shit in.”

The smell, the thought, the fact that he was up so early and hadn't even had any coffee yet all hit Yuri at once. He was bent over at the waist, puking. Otabek laughed and stepped back, walking the horse to his stall.

“There's a hose there on the wall,” he called. “Rinse your mess away, then I'll show you where the compost pile is. You're going to need to work faster than this. Burning daylight, bud.”

“I am not your bud!” he gasped out between heaves. “And we can't be burning day light if there is no daylight yet.”

“Semantics,” Otabek shrugged. But once the vomit was rinsed away, he did show Yuri where the pile was. And whether or not he wanted to move faster so as to get the chore done, or he really felt sorry for the blond boy, Yuri wasn't sure. But he did help him empty the wheelbarrow. 

The next horse was brought out, and it was a little easier to muck the stall. He tried to work quickly, getting as little filth on him as possible. It was easier said than done, but just when the sun was starting to reach over the horizon, they were finished. He was silent as Otabek showed him how to measure out some of the feed and fill the buckets.

“Do they stay in here all day?”

“No,” Otabek shook his head, patting one on the nose. “We'll let them out to roam in a bit. They need some work, most of them. You can relate.”

“Quit being nasty. I'll shove you into the compost pile. That's where all the gross things go.”

“I'm not gross. You're the one coated in horse manure and stomach bile.”

“Shut up!” Yuri stamped his foot. “Of all the places I had to go to, why did I get stuck here with you?”

“I'm having similar thoughts.” Otabek headed towards the house. “Stay here on the porch, Mama doesn't want you tracking that into the house.” 

“She lets you in.” Yuri grumbled.

“There it is,” Otabek gave him a tiny smile after a beat of silence.


	3. This Heart Is Burning Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek and Yuri work, Otabek finds out what his responsibilities are.

Otabek instructed him to take off his shoes, and walked him into a little room off the kitchen. There was a washer and dryer and a shower stall. The dark haired boy quickly disrobed, dropping the clothes into the washer. Yuri felt his face heat up to see him standing there in his boxers. For his part, Otabek didn't even seem to notice, walking barefoot across the tile to the sink and beginning to wash up.

"Uh, you're not going to shower?"

"There's more work to do." he shrugged. "If I showered every time I got dirty, I'd be showering a million times a day. You better change." he warned. "Mama doesn't like us to sit dirty around the table."

"Um..." Yuri trailed off. Otabek sighed.

"I'll turn my back if it makes you feel better. There's sweats and t shirts on top of the washer, wear them until you can go back and get more jeans on."

"Like I'd care about you gawking at me." Yuri scoffed.

"Like you have anything worth gawking at."

Yuri just scowled and stripped, dropping the clothes in the washing machine and hurriedly washing at the sink. He was shivering by the time he was putting on the borrowed clothes. He pulled his hair into another messy bun.

"Doesn't all that hair get in your way?" Otabek asked with interest.

"Not really," he shrugged as they headed to the kitchen. Kara was dishing up pancakes and bacon, heaps of scrambled eggs, toast with butter or jam. If he hadn't been working so hard, he would have been nauseated. It was curious that his stomach felt empty at this point in time, and he was even hungry, given that he had been so sick in the barn.

They took their seats to a smile from Kara, a kiss on the top of their head for each of them as she delivered a plate of breakfast. Yuri froze at the brush of lips on top of his head. The last person to kiss him had been Yuuri, and he had scowled and threatened to claw him to death if he tried such a thing again. But from Kara it felt different, so warm, so natural.

It did make him miss Yuuri all the more, though.

"Have a good morning in the barn, guys?" she asked as the girls came shuffling down the stairs.

"It was fine," Yuri took the cup of coffee and began to drink it, black and hot.

"You don't even want sugar or cream?" the younger girl gasp. "You're just drinking it like that?"

"Some people just like the coffee, hon." Kara laughed. "Would you like some coffee with your cream and sugar?"

"As little as possible." she shrugged.

"All right, Suzy." she poured a little coffee. Abe walked in then, sat down to his plate of breakfast. He smiled at the girls and looked curiously at Yuri, who was focused on his bacon.

"How was your morning?"

"I mucked the stalls."

"All of them?"

"Every single one." he looked up, green eyes defiant into black ones. "After all, while I'm here I'm to do what I'm told. Am I not?"

"Good for you." he said after a moment. "This morning you'll help Otabek take the horses out to the pasture. Then we've got some weeding you can do with the girls this afternoon."

"Yes," was all Yuri said before finishing his plate. He surprised himself by having another slice of toast and even taking some fruit when Kara pushed it on him. She kept muttering that he was too skinny, and he'd faint dead away from work if they weren't careful. It was curious, though, he thought. Back home he never really liked breakfast. He took a cup of coffee and a handful of dry cereal, or maybe a bag of chips if there were any. Yuuri and Victor hated it.

"Don't push him too much." Kara put her hand on her husband's shoulder. Abe reached up to squeeze her hand just for a second.

"Yuri can handle it. He's tough. Look at him." he pointed with his fork.

"He's skin and bones!"

"He's fine!" Yuri stood up. He took his empty plate and headed for the sink with it. "Otabek, are you ready to go?" there was a plea in there somewhere, begging. Get him out of his kitchen, get him away from this conversation. The other boy just stood up and pointed to the stairs. Yuri followed him.

"Get some more jeans on. You ever ridden a horse?"

"Never,"

"Then you'll ride with me." Otabek didn't leave room for disagreement as he went into his room and closed the door. Yuri just groaned as he changed clothes. His body was already aching. And there was still more to do.

When he went back to the barn, Otabek had the horses ready to go. He even had one, a black one with a thick black mane and liquid eyes, saddled up and ready to go. He looked expectantly at Yuri as the blond stared the horse up and down.

"Do you need help, princess?" he sneered.

"Fuck off," Yuri sighed. He had seen movies, hadn't he? He tried to put one foot in the stirrup. But every time he reached, the horse would shuffle away. It was like he could tell that Yuri wasn't sure what he was doing, and he didn't want any part of that mess. Yuri kept trying to reach, and the horse kept moving away He huffed in frustration.  
"What are you doing to him?" he spun to Otabek.

"I'm not doing anything to him." he was trying to hold back laughs. "Horses are just smarter than you think. He knows that you're not confident, and he's fucking with you. Almaty," he clicked his tongue and the horse turned his head to look at him. "Be still."

Otabek walked over and mounted the horse in a fluid gesture that was breath taking for reasons Yuri wasn't certain he was ready to explore yet. He stared up at the boy on the horse. He reached down, and Yuri was reminded of the knights he had heard of in stories. In one motion, he was hauled onto the horse, sitting in front of Otabek.

He squirmed, trying to get comfortable on the saddle. He was practically in the lap of the other boy. And while sitting with someone else wasn't exactly new to him, it wasn't typically done while he was sober. And certainly not in the lap of someone he was rapidly realizing basically fit the mold of a tall, dark stranger. His thighs felt like they were made of steel, too.

"Sit still." Otabek scolded. "You're gonna fall off and break your head, and that'll spook the horses."

"Oh, thanks for your concern."

"There's nothing in your head, I know I don't have to worry about that." he lifted the reins and clicked his tongue, and the horse began to move. Yuri gasped and clutched the saddle horn, clamping down with his thighs. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was going to fall off. Otabek gave a rather theatrical sigh and wrapped his arm around his waist, still holding the reins.

"Are we going to have to ride all of them out to pasture?"

"No, that would take all day. They'll follow us, most of them. The ones that don't, we'll corral. Don't worry about it. Just focus on not falling off the horse."

The horses seemed to be happy enough following them to the pasture. Otabek did a quick count and sighed, looking back. One horse stuck back. When he turned the horse and headed for it, it lifted it's head and began to run towards them. The ground nearly thundered with the gallop. The blond bit his lap and pressed his back into the chest of the boy behind him. The arm around his waist tightened just a little bit, fingers pressing comfortingly into his hip.

"Just wait," Otabek murmured.

"We're going to collide," he felt the color drain from his face. This was it. He was going to die being trampled to death by a horse. Or tossed off a horse to break his neck. What had Victor been thinking, sending him here? Had he really just wanted him to die? Was this all some sort of ridiculous joke? What a terrible punch line.

But at the last second, the other horse veered off, and slowed down to a trot. The horse joined the others in the pasture, bending it's long neck to chew some of the grass. Yuri didn't know much about horses, but he did know about bad attitudes. And that one had attitude enough for the whole herd, it seemed. If Yuri didn't know better, he would think the horse had a self satisfied smirk as it chomped its grass.

"Okay?" Otabek pulled Yuri's head against his shoulder, aware of the way the other boy was trembling.

"Fine," he swallowed thickly and nodded. Otabek eased off the horse and even pulled Yuri down. He patted Almaty and said a few kind words, then walked the other boy back towards the house.  
"Should we leave him in his saddle?"

"I can take it off later. You're white as a ghost."

"What the hell was wrong with that horse?" he demanded. Otabek just remained quiet, walking him the long, slow walk past the barn and garden, to the house. He plopped him down at the kitchen table and shoved a glass of cold water in his hand. He watched as Yuri drank, looked calmer when the color returned to his cheeks.

"You're okay." he decided.

"What the hell happened? Why did that horse do that?"

"He's new." Otabek shrugged. "He's still finding his place. He acts out. You know we rescue horses. He isn't really violent or dangerous, but he's still feeling us out, and we're still feeling him out. He acts out."

"Would he have hurt us?"

"I doubt it." he rubbed his upper arm. "I wouldn't have let anything really bad happen to you, Yuri." it felt warm to hear him say something like that. "I promised my Mom after you went to bed."

Well, an obligation to his mother was probably better than nothing. He just finished his water and stood up.

"Whatever. I can look after myself."

"I'm sure you could. But maybe you shouldn't out here. Because you don't know everything and I really would hate to see you get hurt."

"Because it would upset your mother?"

"Because I think it would be a waste to see you get hurt like that." he headed for the door. "The girls will be around to take you to weed the garden shortly. You should wear a hat. Keep the sun off your skin."

And he was gone. Yuri stared at the space that he had been in, wondering at his words.

Katie and Suzy wore straw hats plunked down on their head, keeping the sun off their skin. Even still, they had nice tans, and they looked healthy, Yuri thought. He knelt in the dirt, pulling at the weeds from the cucumbers as he had been directed. He was told to put the weeds in the basket, so they could be disposed of in the burn pit.

"You don't just throw them to the side?"

"Well, no." Katie blinked. "Then they'd just take root somewhere else. If something like that is really bad, you have to burn it. You have to really get rid of it. If you just keep moving it around, you're just making more work for yourself."

Yuri was quiet as he worked. He left his hair up on his head in the messy bun. The heat of the day was beating down on him, and this was the biggest home garden he had ever seen. Yuuri had kept a small garden, and he seemed to enjoy his time out there. But he mainly just grew tomatoes and squash, along with rows and rows of flowers. He had liked to keep fresh flowers in the various vases throughout the house. The basket quickly filled, and he was directed to empty it in the burn pit, set by the back porch with chairs around it.

Katie and Suzy kept a stream of talking. They bickered about schoolwork, gossiped about friends. Yuri let it wash over him. He wondered how many friends they really could have, living out in the middle of nowhere like they did. It wasn't like they could just go downtown and meet someone. There were so many friends that Yuri had made that way.

But none of them texted him yesterday, a voice in his mind whispered. None of them had called him. None of them had checked up on him. Well, he told himself, it was early. Probably they just wanted to give him time to settle him before they bothered him too much. And he knew that reception out here could be kind of spotty away from the house itself.

They worked for a few hours, and by the time he stood up, his knees were aching. His shoulders were burning. His back was so tight, he could barely turn over. He walked stiffly towards the house, feeling almost like a zombie as he did so. He went to the little laundry room, peeled off the clothes and climbed into the shower stall for a quick shower, and then into the pajamas that had been set for him on the dryer. 

He was starting to see why Abe went to bed so early. But dinner wasn't for another half an hour, according to Kara. She still made him sit down in the living room instead of going to hide in his room. He was parked on the couch with a mug of tea and a two ibuprofen with the television turn on to a cartoon that Suzy was interested in. Yuri watched, slightly interested, as he sipped the drink.

"You survived." Otabek said as he walked through.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"Well, there's still the whole summer to go." the boy smirked and shrugged. He took in the tea and the blanket draped around his shoulders. "Sore?"

"Just tired of your bullshit."

"You've got a whole summer of that ahead of you."

Sitting at dinner, he felt almost too tired to lift the fork. He ate slowly, carefully. The pot roast was delicious. He wondered how Kara had enough time to get everything done. He knew she did the books for the farm, kept up on calls with vets, kept up with calls from people who needed help with their horses. And managing the three kids. She didn't even seem tired.

"Well, Otabek." Abe asked as he carefully sliced his roast. "What do you think of your new hand?"

"My what?" the boy almost choked on his carrot.

"Him," he gestured to Yuri. "He's your responsibility this summer. I've got too much to get done this summer."

"But Dad!" Otabek looked startled. "He doesn't even know how to ride."

"Then you'll teach him." he sounded calm as he drank from his iced tea. "I'm certain that you can handle it."

"I don't want to." Otabek put down his fork. "I didn't want to spend my whole summer with some trouble maker."

"Well, I didn't want to spend my whole summer with a horse shit smelling podunk jerk like you." Yuri rose as sharply as he could. He hissed against the pain on his back. Suzy gasped and Katie nearly choked on her drink.

"Yuri! Otabek!" Kara was scolding. "That's not how we talking to each other in this house. As you well know." she glared at her son. "Now apologize."

"I'm sorry," Yuri said it just this side of gracious. It wasn't without a hint of sarcasm. Otabek just glowered at him.

"Otabek," Abe said in a low voice. "You heard your Mama. That isn't any way to treat our guest."

"He isn't a guest, he's a problem." Yuri just put his fork down and stood up. He limped with as much dignity as he could possibly muster and made his way up the stairs. He ignored the sound of Abe calling him back, of Kara scolding her son. He just went up to his room and quietly closed the door. I

It was very clear. He wasn't really wanted here.


	4. My Little Black Heart Breaks Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri doesn't want to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts: I actually don't know about horses so I have to Google shit as I go and I'm an idiot.

Yuri ignored the sound of the Altin family downstairs. It was an old house, and the sound did seem to carry a little bit. So far, it sounded like Otabek was getting the scolding of a lifetime. It didn't fill Yuri with any sort of joy, though. Instead, he laid on the bed, his back to the door. It wasn't too long until he heard the family come shuffling up to the bedrooms.

"Yuri, honey?" there was a tapping at his door, a gentle voice calling for him.

"Don't worry about it." he called back. "I don't hold it against him."

"Honey," Kara opened the door and stepped in. "It's okay if you are mad at him. You have reasons to be upset."

"I really don't want to talk about this." he sat up, ignoring how much his back was hurting. "I've spent the day shoveling shit, and then it was heavily implied that I'm not even good enough for that."

"That's not what Otabek meant..." she trailed off. "But it did sound that way. Don't worry, everything will be different in the morning."

It sure would, Yuri agreed. She gave a sweet smile an came near him, kissing his forehead again. Yuri's skin tingled at the touch. He wondered, faintly, if his mother had ever kissed him like that. He flopped down on the bed.

His eyes were burning with the effort of staying awake. He willing himself to be still, not to rustle around and alert anyone. When the hush had fallen over the house, the hush that meant sleep, he sat up. Yuri hated it when houses were too quiet. The quiet usually heralded dreams, but for Yuri only brought the promise of insomnia or nightmares.

Didn't matter tonight. He dumped his still packed backpack onto the bed. A few pairs of underwear and socks, a fresh pair of jeans. A t shirt, his wallet. He glanced at his guitar in the corner and frowned. It was too bit to take. He might make money with it, busking or maybe even pawning it if things got too hard. But trying to carry it out would be nearly impossible.

Yuri opened the window and lifted the screen, peering out. It was a warm, clear night. The moon blazed so brightly it almost burning your tongue to look at it. At least he wouldn't have to stumble along in complete darkness, he thought. He slipped his hoodie on and strapped on the pack. The roof over the porch sloped down. If he could crawl along it, he could slide down and into the hedge below. It would hurt, maybe a little.

He crept along as quietly as he could, aware of the sound of his shoes against the roof. At the corner, he scooted downwards on his ass, right towards the edge. He hesitated for a moment, fingers pressed hard against the metal of the roof, not wanting to slip off before he would ready.

"Yuri?" he jumped nearly a mile. "What are you doing?"

"Enjoying the night air."

"Really." it wasn't even a real question and the doubt in Otabek's voice made Yuri's face burn hot. He stood just behind the hedges, with his arms crossed. He stared at the boy trying to climb off the roof.  
"Looks to me like you're leaving."

"Then why did you even ask?" he scowled. "Are you gonna go inside? Tattle to your parents?"

"Nope,"

"Because you want me gone anyway." he snorted. "Wouldn't matter to you if I fell down and broke my neck, would it?"

"Yes it would. That would be a lot of paperwork for my parents to fill out. I bet our insurance would even increase. And Victor and his fiance would be very upset, and I like them." he uncrossed his arms.  
"Besides it's not that I don't like you."

"You really could have fooled me."

"Come down, Yuri."

"Why do you care?" he repeated.

"Because whatever I said that upset you, I don't want you to get hurt. Come on, slide down." he held his arms out, open and ready to catch him. Yuri looked at him for a second and continued the slow, careful slide. He closed his eyes when his legs were dangling and let go, knowing that this could go very wrong. But Otabek caught him easily, arms and legs tangling together.

They stood like that for a moment before the dark haired boy set him down on his feet.

"Don't run away like that."

"Tell me why I shouldn't." he crossed his arms. "You made it clear that you don't want me here."

"That's not--." Otabek groaned and ran his hand through his hair. "It's more complicated than that."

"Fine, I don't have time for this either." he turned to walk down the dirt drive, head towards the road. It would take forever to find a ride, he knew that. He wasn't even entirely sure which way would take him towards civilization. But it was very difficult to get lost in this day and age. Someone would stumble across him soon enough.

"Yuri, please." he reached out, snatched his hand. "Don't. Let's just go back inside. I won't tell if you don't tell."  
"You don't understand."

"I understand more than you think. And I know that you don't want to be here. But if you try, we can make this work. Come on, let's just go upstairs and go to bed. Tomorrow will look different."

He snarled as Otabek tugged on his hand. Otabek ignored it and didn't let go, even as Yuri struggled. He get gripping him, his fingers wide and warm, his hand heavy and work roughened. There wasn't malice there in those hands. He tried to pull, to peel those fingers off him. Otabek just held steady.

"It's dark and late," he said softly. "Come inside and come to bed."

"I don't want to!"

"Yuri, please." it was as close to begging as he had ever heard from him. "Let's go inside."

The exhaustion spread over him. He stopped pulling, the ache in his shoulders too much to tolerate anymore. He let the older boy carefully open the kitchen door, walk him near silently up the stairs. He stopped at Yuri's room, and that was when he realized that they never had let their hands go. Once they got to his door, Otabek gently removed his fingers.

Like he was sleep walking, Yuri let his bag fall and collapsed onto the bed, ignoring the need for pajamas. At least he'd be ready quickly enough in the morning, he though as sleep took him under.

***

He was woken before the sun the next morning. Every muscle in his body seemed to ache. He groaned as he sat up. Otabek just beckoned to him, a finger to his lips. He followed him as silently as he could to the kitchen, where two cups of coffee on the counter. They drank in silence until the cups were empty, and they headed out to the barn.

"Today, you learn to groom."

"I thought I was mucking."

"Oh don't worry, there's plenty of that to go around!" Otabek snorted. "But it's important that you know how to groom."

"So the horses look good?"

"Partly," he lifted and lowered one shoulder. "Grooming isn't just about making the horse look nice. It's about making sure there aren't any injuries, and that the horse is in good health and can do the work that we need them to do." he walked out the dark horse they had ridden yesterday, stroking him as they walked. The horse seemed to enjoy it. Otabek quick knotted the lead to the post.  
"So here, take this." he handed a hard rubber comb. "It's called a curry comb, and it gets any mud or dirt loose." he demonstrated and then handed it to Yuri.

The boy stepped closer, afraid suddenly of the animal in front of him. He put the comb to his side and carefully ran it down his flank. If the horse cared, he didn't give any indication. The dark haired boy nodded, watching as he carefully brushed down the horse, careful not to walk behind him. Yuri didn't know much about horses, but he knew damn well they kicked and he didn't want to be on the kicking   
end.

"Good! Now here's a stiff brush, and that'll get any more dust and dirt off him. Use quick strokes and don't dig." he warned. Yuri obeyed. As he moved, the horse turned his head, leaned to sniff Yuri. He froze, brush hovering above his coat. The horse just made a sound and shifted a big closer to him.

"Is he mad?"

"No," there was a smile hidden in his voice. "Almaty likes being groomed. I picked him because he's the gentlest. He'll let you learn on him. Won't you, boy?" he patted the velvety nose. Yuri continued with his work.  
"So here's a soft brush. This is for like his face or ears. Like this." Yuri watched as Otabek tenderly groomed the horses face. He didn't ask for the brush to try on his own.

"He does like that."

"Well, imagine if your face was itchy and it was hard to scratch, or if you had dust rubbing at your skin." he showed Yuri the damp towel used to wipe by the eyes. "And now for his mane. You should be able to comb a mane. Start with your fingers for knots, then use the comb."

It wasn't entirely unlike combing out his own hair. Almaty didn't even flinch as he worked out one of the knots. And when he was done, Yuri put his hand on his nose, just where he had seen Otabek   
petting him. The horse exhaled deeply, seemingly pleased with the sensation and the job that Yuri had done.

"Great! And you can do all of them, I'll muck out and check your work."

"Can you do all of it?"

"Faster than you. Been doing it a long time."

He would bring a horse, tie them, and let Yuri get to work while he mucked. The horses weren't particularly dirty so the curry and brushing didn't take as long. And none of them seemed to really dislike it, necessarily. A few stomped their foot once or twice when he snagged a knot, or when he had to go over the same spot to get the mud off them.

Finally, he brought that lovely horse that had tried to charge them yesterday. Yuri stared at the horse as he tossed his head. He was truly beautiful, with the mane that was nearly white and the coloring that Yuri could only liken to gold. The problem seemed to be that the horse knew how pretty he was. His body rippled when the curry comb was pressed against him.

He liked the soft brush especially, and Yuri took extra time around his face. He then lifted the comb and slowly, methodically combed out his mane. The horse made a little neigh sound that didn't sound unhappy, so he'd take that as a win. When he was done, he stepped back, looking over his work. Otabek, done with the mucking, gave the final check.

"Wanna walk them all out to pasture with me?"

"On the horse with you? Why? So you can hurl me off and watch me get trampled to death?"

"I told you before, that would spook the horses. Besides, you just did such a nice job grooming them, I wouldn't want them to get bloody." Yuri just scowled at him. He'd somehow saddled up Almaty quickly.

"I'm not sitting in front of you like a little kid." he crossed his arms.

"Then ride behind me." he shrugged. But the thought of sitting behind Otabek, his arms wrapped around his waist, wasn't much better. Maybe he would rather be cuddled than be the cuddler, he thought. He made a sour face and shook his head.

"Whatever, I'll ride in front of you, fine." Otabek swung onto the horse and offered his hand, hauling Yuri back up easily. He whistled and horses made their way out of the barn. He gripped the saddle horn, intent on not enjoying the body pressed against his. At least today, the pretty horse didn't try and charge them. Rather, when they all got the pasture, he turned his head until he spotted Yuri.

Maintaining eye contact, the horse dropped down and began to roll in the single patch of mud in the whole pasture. Yuri's jaw dropped, and Otabek laughed.

"That's not funny!" he snapped.

"It is. It is hilarious, really." he climbed off Almaty, helped Yuri down. "He's just trying to show that you're not the boss of him."

"I'm barely even the boss of me!"

"Yeah, it figures. Let's go and get breakfast." he headed towards the house, leaving the other both to trot after him. But he did glance over his shoulder at that horse, now standing up from the dirt.


	5. You'd See Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has a talk with Yuri

"You're gonna help Mama today." Otabek said when Yuri woke up. He barely even needed to be shaken to wake up. He stared at the other boy.

"I thought that was like, part of my punishment or whatever? You were going to make me shovel shit forever? Like Sisyphus, but instead of rolling a rock, there's just the never ending shit. And instead of a vulture eating my liver, there's just you waking me up with your stupid face every morning."

"Okay, so, in the first place Heracles actually had to clean stables, so you're closer to that than you are Sisyphus. In the second place, the only stupid face is the one in your mirror." he finished his coffee and put his mug in the sink.

"What does Kara need help with, anyway?"

"Oh, laundry, making the beds, getting some of the canned stuff from the root cellar..."

"Housekeeping."

"Sure," Otabek shrugged.

"Okay then." 

"You're not going to argue? You're not going to say it's women's work?"

"What? No. There's no such thing as women's work." Yuri snorted. "Just work. Besides, you're the one shoveling the shit, not me. I'll take running the vacuum and being your Mom's errand boy over that any day. How stupid do I look?"

"You sure you want me to answer that?"

"Probably not."

Otabek headed for the stables after telling Yuri to empty the dishwasher. He obeyed, finding the appropriate places. Kara was thrilled when she appeared shortly after, and began to put together breakfast, telling Yuri to scramble the eggs for her, slice the fruit for fruit salad, dice the potatoes so she could fry them.

"Do you mind helping me out today?"

"No," he shrugged. When the food was ready, the rest of the family seemed to drift in, even though there wasn't a bell or warning. Yuri wondered how many years they had been running on a schedule like this so that their stomachs would remind them to come to the table. He helped carry the bowls of food to the table and sat down to make his own plate.

"Mama, are you going to need Yuri this afternoon?"

"No, I don't think so. Not if he works quickly and quietly." she sipped her juice. "Why?"

"He needs to learn to ride a horse."

"I do?" Yuri looked up.

"We are on a horse farm. We also help some neighbors with their sheep. We use the horses to get back and forth, it's easier than trying to drive a truck all over. It isn't safe if you don't know how to ride."

"I--." the protest died in his mouth. Kara and Abe just nodded, finishing their breakfast. Abe rose and patted the girls on the head, kissed Kara, put his hand on Otabek's shoulder. As he passed by Yuri, he put his hand on his shoulder too, and then he was gone. The girls scattered, off to do work or whatever it was they did in the summer.

"Come on, Yuri, let's get moving. I know you must be eager to get out to the horses."

He wasn't, but there was no getting Kara to understand that. He carried a basket of linen out to the clothes line, helped her hang them. He listened to her chatter about the fact that you just can't beat the sun and wind for getting clothes nicely dried and sweet smelling. He swept the kitchen, the long winding porch. He carried linens upstairs, carried dirty ones downstairs. He peeled potatoes for their supper, and went into the root cellar to get some cans of green beans that she had put up

"You'll love canning, we all have such a good time." Kara told him. "I think maybe we eat more strawberries and cherry tomatoes than we get canned. But it's fun."

"When do you do that?"

"Oh, end of the season."

"I'll be gone by then, won't I?"

"If you want to be." she looked at him, at the pile of potato peelings in the bowl in front of him. "There have been a few kids that stayed here longer than a summer."

"Were they foster kids or something?"

"Not officially. They were like you. Kids who had maybe lost their way and needed some help finding it again?" she pulled out a chair and some of the potatoes. It dawned on Yuri what this was. The heart to heart, the come to Jesus, the kiss and cry because everything was going to be okay. He just stared at her blanky.  
"Do you think you've lost your way?"

"No," he said flatly.

"Victor told us that you puked on a cop's shoes because you'd been day drinking."

"I know." he shrugged. 'Everyone makes mistakes."

"That's a pretty big mistake, Yuri. Your grades are terrible."

"Not everyone is academically inclined."

"Don't get cute," she rolled her eyes.

"I can't help it, Kara, it's my natural state of being." he fluttered his eyelashes. They were quiet for a few moments, finishing the potatoes.

"Look, Yuri, you're a cool kid. Anyone would be lucky to have to you." he froze as she spoke. "I know you've been bounced around. And I know you're angry and hurt, and you're sad. I get it. Yuri said that you wanted to be back with your grandpa, but no one thinks that's a great place for you to be right now. Grandpa is old and sick and he just can't keep up with a kid anymore."

"I'm not a baby." he spat. "It isn't like he needs to put me to bed or anything. I made him dinner more often than not."

"And that's part of the reason that you're not there. You deserve the chance to be a kid."

"But you just scolded me for doing kid things."

"Come on, Yuri, you're smarter than that." she shook her head. "You know the nonsense you got up to isn't just kid shit. It was a cry for help, and now you're here getting the help that you needed."

"If I promise to be good, can I go back to Victor and Yuuri's?"

"Not today. Not until the end of the summer." she looked at him seriously. "They're not prepared at this point in time to take you back. They want what's best for you, and they feel that their home isn't   
the best for you. You're going to have to show them that you can handle it."

He wasn't sure if he was angry or just not surprised at all. Everyone else gave up on him. Why would his cousin and his fiance be any different? He glared at the blue bowl of peelings. Kara was quiet for a few moments.

"So do you do this to feel better about yourselves? Buying good karma or something like that?"

"We do it because we're able to." she said smoothly, not taking his bait. "We have the space, the time, the money, the ability. So why wouldn't we help people that needed it?"

"Because people aren't horses?"

"There area lot more similarities than I think you understand." she patted his hand. "Get your shoes on, I bet Otabek is waiting for you at the barn."

***

Otabek was waiting for him, standing with Almaty. The horse was saddled. Once he caught sight of Yuri, he looked at the dark haired boy as though to ask 'Really? This kid again?'

"Are you ready?"

"Can't I just ride with you?"

"I thought you didn't like riding with me like a little kid of a damsel in distress?" he looked amused. Yuri blew out his breath through pursed lips. He contemplated the horse, who suddenly seemed to be much taller, which much heavier hooves than he was aware of.  
"Put your hand here." he took Yuri's hand and placed it on the saddle. He was taken in by how warm Otabek's hands were, the places they were work roughened and the places they remained soft.

"Okay, now what?"

"Put your foot in the stirrup, and pull yourself up."

"What if he moves?"

"He won't." he shook his head. "He knows better, and I'm holding onto him. Just try, Yuri."

He held on tightly and pulled. He knew that it wasn't as smooth as Otabek's, but he was sitting in the saddle. He squirmed a bit, trying to adjust himself. When he felt like he was sitting comfortably, he nodded to the dark haired boy. He was handed the reins, his grip adjusted on them.

"Good. I want you to know how to stop him first thing, before even making him go. You sit back... yup, like that, firm your legs, you got it, and give a little pull to the reins. Tell him whoa."

"Whoa?" Yuri repeated. Almaty's ears flicked. He wondered how obnoxious it must be for the horse to have to cart someone around. Especially someone who didn't know what he was doing.

"Now pet him."

"Well, how do I know he wants to be petted?"

"He likes it." Otabek stroked his neck, and the horse almost seemed to lift his head a little bit higher in enjoyment. Yuri reached out and let his fingers run down the horse's neck. He felt the muscles there, and realized for the first time that these were very powerful animals. He hummed. Almaty seemed to calm a little bit more.  
"See? If you can relax, he'll relax more. He's a good boy, but he doesn't want to hurt you, and you're anxious it makes him anxious. "

"I get it."

"So keep hold of the reins. Now give him a squeeze with your legs. Don't kick him or shout. Just if a little squeeze. Stay sitting up straight."

Yuri gave the littlest bit of pressure with his legs. To his surprise, Almaty began to move. It was a slow, gentle walk, like he seemed to know that Yuri didn't want to go too fast. He patted his neck again, feeling the flesh ripple with enjoyment. The horse seemed to want him to know that if he did what he needed to do, he was willing to be a good horse and be helpful.

It was a little like dancing, Yuri realized. He let his body follow the sway of Almaty. Usually he was the one leading, he was the one that everyone wanted to come and dance with. But this was by no means bad. He walked to the end of the barn, then glanced over at Otabek. He didn't know how to turn the horse. But as he turned, the horse began to. Yuri was shocked.

"He can feel your body. Your body was giving him the signs. Apply pressure with your outside leg... There you go. See? He's getting it. A horse that we're breaking in wouldn't know all these things, but Almaty is pretty smart." Otabek coached him in swinging his leg down and carefully dismounting the horse. Yuri stroked Almaty again, even letting his fingers through his mane.

"Thank you," he said softly. The horse let out a little nicker, like maybe he was trying to tell Yuri it was fine. The dark haired boy tapped him on the shoulder and handed him half an apple.

"Won't he bite me?"

"No, here." Otabek took his hand again. He held it, coaxing Yuri's hand to be flat, and offer his palm with the treat. The horse bent and took it delicately, his lips rubbing against his skin. They were still, silent, watching Almaty enjoy his snack. He sniffed at the open skin, making sure he hadn't missed a bite. Even when he moved and their arms began to drift downwards, The dark haired boy was still cupping his hand.

"How did I do?"

"Beautifully for a beginner."

"I feel like there might have been an insult there." the boy was pressed along his back. If he rolled his shoulders, he could have felt his chest pressing there. He warm, always so warm, and smelled better than one would have thought for spending the day with the horses. There was, of course, the smell of hay and dirt, but also the smell of the sunshine outside, the way it smelled when it hit the green sweet grass in the pasture. There was the smell of something heavier, richer.

"No insults. No one is perfect when they begin." his whole body seemed to rumble with his voice.

"Do we go back up to the house now?"

"Now I take Almaty and head up to the pasture. Horses are ready to come in for the night."

"Is it already so late?"

"No, but I like to do it before it gets too dark. That wild one can take some convincing." and if that wasn't a mood, Yuri didn't know what was. But Otabek made no motion to move away from him, and he didn't try to step away, either.

"You should um, go do that. I think then."

"Right," he reluctantly pulled away from Yuri then grabbed Almaty's saddle, pulling himself on and heading out a little faster than a walk. Feeling slightly dizzy, Yuri headed down to the house. Certainly Kara would want help with dinner.


End file.
